Hello Everyone,
I am David’s brother and AJ’s Uncle, Matt. I am the middle of 3 brothers born within just over 3 years of each other (I’m not sure what my parents were thinking and not surprisingly, my 3 children are 8 years apart). David was the oldest and Michael the youngest.
Growing up, our lives were centered around family, school, and sports. Sibling rivalry was present, but there was always great pride and appreciation for each other’s skills and successes.
Like David, I went on to have a family of 3 children. Jen and I were married 2 years after Dave and Mina, both families welcoming their first child in July of 2005. My parents were in Boston on July 25th to see their first granddaughter, Cami, and then in NYC on July 26th to see their first grandson, Will. AJ joined the “big kids” two years later. Maddy, my middle daughter, and Maggie formed the “twins” in 2009 and 2010. Shortly after David was diagnosed with sarcoma in 2012, Jen and I learned we would be welcoming our first son into the family and Tyson completed the Brenneman cousins in 2012.
Just as our families were complete, we faced David’s brutal battle with cancer and the devastating loss of him.
People have often recognized David for his intellectual prowess and professional success. However, I will always remember him for who he was as an athlete — a natural leader who made his teammates better and a resilient competitor who overcame injury to lead his high school basketball team to the state finals.
During his junior year, David tore his ACL late in the basketball season. He worked tirelessly to rehab and strengthen the knee to be able to play his full soccer season. David led the defense as a left back while Michael earned the starting goalie position as a freshman. In Michael’s first start, David calmly and with all the love and pride walked up to him and said, “Don’t f**k it up.”
David’s greatest success came that winter as the captain and point guard for Natick’s Division 2 State Finalist Basketball team. I can still see him wearing the net around his neck after they had won the league championship for the first time in years. He was the consummate teammate and competitor who made everyone around him better as he ran the offense.
In a tight battle in the quarterfinals at Nauset HS, where our Dad now coaches, Dave was benched by the coach for a scuffle with a Nauset player. After a small run by Nauset cutting into the lead, Dave checked himself back into the game to ensure the team was able to pull away and move on. He knew what was best for the team and wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way of a victory. He did this all as our Dad was in the hospital and rehab recovering from a sudden stroke that had left him partially paralyzed and learning to walk again. David always displayed this relentless drive to succeed no matter the obstacles in the way.
David took that same competitive and team-oriented approach to all his endeavors. It’s how he handled his cancer diagnosis, too. Over the 16 months he battled Sarcoma, David fought tirelessly through multiple aggressive treatments, worked his job, and continued to be a loving and doting father to his 3 children. Forever a loving husband, during his final hospital stay a week before he died, he sent Michael into the city to get Mina a gift for their 11th wedding anniversary.
Over the years since David passed, milestones like licenses, graduation, making varsity teams have been bittersweet. I am filled with joy and pride to see Will, AJ, and Maggie grow to be special young adults. I know David is so proud of who they have become as well.
But there is always the lingering pain of the loss, knowing that David isn’t here physically to share that joy and pride. I so wish David was able to experience the same joys of unclehood with my children that I have had with Will, AJ, and Maggie. I wish my kids had their Uncle Dave as they have grown. However, I know Cami, Maddy, and Tyson have grown closer to their cousins because of David’s untimely passing.
Our family has experienced immeasurable joy over the years watching these children grow and bond together in Cape Cod, Natick, NYC, Portugal, South Carolina, Lake George, and other beautiful places. But I also know how much the children missed out on with David’s passing.
This loss was compounded nearly 2 years ago when our brother, Michael, passed suddenly. The loss of Rara — the consummate fun and crazy uncle — was indescribable for a family that had already lost too much. Our faith and belief that David and Michael will always be with us in spirit allows us to try to focus on and celebrate the joy in these milestones.
The upcoming Camino (where I will be supporting and celebrating but not walking) comes again with some bittersweet joy. Portugal is where my younger brother, Michael, took his greatest adventure in life as he picked up and started a whole new life abroad.
The location of the walk feels like it so naturally connects all three of us brothers once again as we celebrate and honor David and Michael’s impact on all of us. It is a joy and privilege to support AJ, Will, Maggie, and Mina as they walk the Camino.
AJ will write next week.
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